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An Ancient 27-Year Old Hits the Ice for Some Speedskating Fun

roadskater's picture

Funny how my parents think I'm young, and I think I'm old sometimes, young others, mostly depending if I've been forced to look in a mirror, or to look at my hands, or help me, otherwise be faced with reality of that sort. The inner reality is often far different, and yay for that....

So when some youngster of 27 hints at old age, it is in some ways maddening, in others reassuring, and just a reminder that we flow along in a stream of beings ever aging, but hanging on, or mostly so, and that skating has brought me deep joy and another way of experiencing love in the universe, along with learning and playing songs on the guitar, especially, I guess. And much more of course, including, fear, self-disgust, and that other wonderful thing, outside myselfness, exhausting the energy of desolation, replacing the heavy jeans of my heart with wonderfully wicking barely existing bright, contrasty, vivid soulycra.

Yes I said it. That's what I was thinking, and this reporter from Barrie, Ontario, Canada, helped me get there today in my mind with his article about taking an hour out on the ice as a newbie with the folks of the Barrie Speed Skating Club (http://www.barriespeedskating.com). The writer, whose name is really not given, but his email begins with ishantz (I thought it should be iwill)....

I liked and related well to this from days indoors on the wood floor (literally) of the speed rink...

When you're 27, words can't begin to express what it feels like to be brought down a notch by six-year-olds.

I had not really considered the need for a neck guard. I guess that's to stop the bleeding?

...before I receive skates, coach Roxanne Wright throws me a helmet, neck guard and cut-proof gloves.

That brings it home that you're wearing weapons on your feet! And toilet plungers where?

What look like the ends of plungers are placed on the backs of the skaters. They skate laps while balancing the plunger devices on their backs.

Hey that's a sweet idea. I'm not sure I'd want to do that at Country Park, though. Drills! Hateful wonderful drills!

The drill, Paula tells me, is to get the athletes utilizing the proper techniques. Positioning your body for maximum extension with the least amount of stress is the key.

Our hero pulls out another apt quip...

Essentially, you want to be sitting in an invisible chair. I'd settle for a La-Z-Boy right about now.

If you get a few, take a quick read. It actually presents a few basic pieces of real information in a pleasant enough, humorous envelope. Not bad for such a youngster! Check it out...


eebee's picture

Florida Panthers' Richard Zednik would agree

...about the neck guard, when another hockey player's skate blade nicked his carotid artery a month or two ago.

Here's some gory video of the accident:


Thankfully he survived and is doing fine:


roadskater's picture

OK I Only Watched Half Before Getting Skweemish

Yikes. I sliced my finger nicely with an inline skate frame (a Salomon 4x100 195mm mount device I purchased with no boots to withgo...but that's another story...and that was bad enough...quite a cut. But that stuff is wicked...wickvid. Yikes is about all I can think or say at this moment. Eeeeesh is another. Probably better that I haven't done much around sharp skate blades. Thanks for sharing, I think!

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