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TV Weather Men and Weather Women and Global Dumbing

roadskater's picture

Finally someone said it in print. I don't claim to know the truth about anything, but I know how I feel, sometimes.

Recalling the movies, Network and Broadcast News and after recent viewings of An Inconvenient Truth and The Fog of War, it's not hard to notice how our television weather anchors are literally oxymoronically dead weight fluff (most of them), avoiding any weather issues other than the 3-degree guarantee. Of course they are just the break between advertisements, so what do we expect?

How about this for fun. Let's create the Weather Argument Channel, where we have a weather person on the left and another on the right, wielding blue and red telestrator markers respectively, giving us the point-counterpoint on the forecast and making global warming all part of the political battle so we can do nothing but feel great about it!

Not so surprising when television is only entertainment and the choices are to argue (when there is plenty of time but not enough substance) or to gloss (when there very little time between commercials and only happiness and agreed-upon tragedies are allowed).

We here at Skateylove.com advise against hatred of course, especially at home and without the services of a CHT (Certified Hatred Technician), but if you must, please remember:

  • Don't hate your weather gal or weather guy because they're pretty. There are plenty of other reasons available.

My, my, my, Gee Wilikers Beave! La dee dah. It will be warmer than normal again tomorrow, folks. It looks like it will do this until normal is warmer, or until it gets cooler. Check this out! Look at this Sky Pi 3D animation as we zoom in on downtown Legonia. Take a look at the Live 24 WeatherCam and you can see well there is not much going on as it is warm again, unseasonably warm. Crazy weather. Imagine Rollerblading on the 12th day of Christmas (you know, Beave, that makes me want to say "My true love gave to me a cartridge in an HP, heh heh! Punny huh?")!

Well at our 360 Doppler Radar Center what goes around comes around so I guess to everything there is a season so we are going to see what the future brings when the groundhog comes looking for his shadow to tell us about the ups and down and ins and outs of the cyclical weather phenomena! The long range forecast is for warmer than normal temperatures with long-term drought and occasional hurricanes and tornadoes. Watch out for winds when the temperature changes suddenly and rain coming with that low pressure system making its way up from the Gulf.

You can bet the Sky Pi Channel 3.14 HDTV helicopter will be on the lookout for folk poorer than you stranded in low-lying areas that we can video and not help, and we'll be setting up our cameras near the weakest aluminum-clad structures we can find so you can see the dramatic footage of flying sheet metal and yards full of people's underwear and photos they never put into albums. Our desperate young cutie or frightened he's on the way out seasoned anchor will be taking unnecessary risks just to stand in front of the flying debris and we'll play a loop continuously as we talk about how you can be really glad you live in the Lego Land Homes Fallen Trees community. We'll break out west to show you celebrity homes perilously near the wildfires or nearly crashing into the Malibu sea in mudslides whenever we can, and if we can find a mass of insignificant people you don't know being washed away by a wall of water, well so much the better, as long as we don't talk about how we might be part of the reason. We'll bring it all to you right after your local daily murder, unless we can find a hot 14-year old society chick who has been abducted and she was so young and pretty!

If you want old and ugly you'd better get a radio, fella. Ha ha ha.

And how about those Legonia BillyBobCatNappers, Hunky? They'll be playing three home games in town next week and our stiff haired sports pal will be right back to tell you all about it after these messages on how to acquire more debt more quickly from AcquireMoreDebt.com. Don't forget, after twenty-nine minutes of shocking video and six teases about our thirty seconds of actual syndicated journalism, we'll have the AT&T Fact of the Day brought to you by Depends, for when you maybe can't wait another minute, which will of course lead seamlessly into the opening pulsating rhythmic strains of our networks nightly newstertainment extravaganza. Back to you, Beave!

OK. So I go overboard sometimes. Check out this editorial about weather glams playing or being dumb, that is the question.

When the weatherman plays dumb
Boston Globe, MA - 41 minutes ago
Even while rollerblading or picnicking on the Feast of the Epiphany, outdoor enthusiasts had to worry about global warming or climate change. ...
[Rollerblading]

Comments

eebee's picture

And if it's Unseasonably Seasonal?

Honestly, when are people going to give up describing the weather as 'unseasonable'?

The weatherguys and dolls on the TV are just paying the mortgage. I'd write more, but you said it all Blake.

roadskater's picture

Malibu fire, Brazil mudslide, Darfur Blog

I didn't know Suzanne Somers' Malibu Colony home was destroyed by fire yesterday when I wrote what I did about TV newstainweather reports. I was trying to create a hyperbolic situation that was impossible...a celebrity Malibu home burning down while sliding into the sea...but when I saw the photos of her home, right on the sea, in charred ruins, it was a bit too close. I don't think her bad fortune is any more or less important that someone's we'll never hear about, but losing your stuff is losing your stuff no matter who you are. What I mean is losing the things inside the place you live that you thought were safe and would be with you as you went through life. Now maybe we should not have stuff, and certainly one popular religious guy said just bring what you can carry if you want to be one of his disciples, but if you don't choose that way, it can be hard to lose the sentimental stuff.

This all reminds me of The Pursuit of Happyness (spoiler paragraph follows), where the father and boy had to leave their stuff when they were at last locked out of the hotel. Of course, what these homeless guys had that others did not, at least for awhile, was inventory to sell, even after some required recovery procedures. And when you lose your superhero it hurts no matter what the circumstances.

Three other houses were burned down in the same fire.

Somers' comments show that she knows she has it good even in the face of loss, and in spite of whatever personal sadness she may feel, she's presenting that positive take that has helped make her famous:

"We'll rebuild and I really think we'll learn something great from this," she said. "What else can you do with tragedy but look for the opportunity to grow? It was a beautiful house. It was a beautiful place to live."

On the same page...

The death toll from mudslides in southeast Brazil soared to 50 following torrential rain in recent days, Brazil's Civil Defense service said on Sunday, with more downpours forecast for this week.

I also wrote about a blog about Darfur, but I have moved that content to a separate new page. Here's my note about the Darfur blog I hope you'll read.

Regardless whether I even know what I am talking about, I never intended to refer to anyone's particular circumstances when I wrote what I did yesterday. Sorry for your loss, Suzanne, and everyone one else who is hurting today.

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